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Black Swan Classic Car & Motorcycle Breakfast Meet September 2020

The post Podcast – Maserati MC20, Smart Roads (or are they?), Bizarre Cars and Access To The Least Exotic Parts Bins first appeared on UKMotorTalk.

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The post Podcast – Good, Bad, Ugly and Unusual “Affordable” Dream Cars first appeared on UKMotorTalk.

Evoking memories of encounters between Arthur Daley and the many hapless dupes who wandered onto his South London forecourt to be greeted with its utterance, the phrase ‘one lady owner’  enjoys a somewhat tarnished reputation and is often accompanied by a wry raise of an eyebrow or a muttered ‘yeah, right..’.

But, ladies and gents I’m here to restore your faith in good honest second hand car sales and hereby present to you the Real Deal – an honest to goodness, in-all-its glory one lady owner, 1983 VW Polo.

First registered in June of that year, this Mars Red Polo C ‘Breadvan’ has been the pride and joy of the remarkable, 97-years-young Phyllis Reeves for the last 36 years and apart from her name on the all-important V5C the number of previous registered keepers stands at a big fat zilch.

Bought to replace a much-loved and cherished British racing green Mini Clubman estate, this Polo in its eye-catching, fire-engine paint job was Phyllis and her late husband Tom’s present to themselves upon a well-deserved retirement – as Phyllis says; “We’d never had a brand new car before, they’d always been second hand, so we thought ‘why not’?”.

Previously, as well as the aforementioned Clubman, Phyllis and her husband had owned and enjoyed a quite eclectic variety of wheeled transport, including a tandem and motorcycle-sidecar combination as well as a Jowett van – purchased in the late 50s for the princely sum of £21 – in which Phyllis took her driving test. She was later to go on to pass her Advanced test with the IAM in 1981 and rather regrets not having gone on to take the HGV test as she’d “rather have enjoyed the view from up there”.

Anyway, back in 1983, a nephew had previously acquired a couple of Polos as company cars from then local VW dealer Colbornes and using this previous custom managed to help his Aunt and Uncle secure a not inconsiderable discount of £338.75 when Phyllis and her husband decided they rather fancied one themselves.

This left the Reeves with a bill for £3825 (including £18.50 for a set of number plates) as recorded on the original invoice – which is still incidentally very much in Phyllis’ possession along with a whole sheaf of other paperwork amassed over her time with the car.

In the intervening 36 years the feisty little VW has amassed 142000 miles plying the length and breadth of the British Isles. Indeed, its first long-distance trip was a holiday spent in the far north of Scotland where it was greatly-admired by a holidaying couple from West Germany who were proud to see such a bright shiny example of German engineering making it so far from home.

More recently, the diminutive hatchback has stayed a little closer to home helping its owner maintain her independence by providing her with a lifeline as she runs local errands and visits friends and family in and around her hometown of Godalming in leafy Surrey.

A distinctive sight amongst the plethora of more modern and high-falutin’ machinery in this affluent corner of the Home Counties the bright red Polo is cared for by a friendly local garage who have always ensured that the car is well-maintained and safe for Phyllis to continue driving.

In and around the local area it regularly attracts admiring glances and over the years as it has moved ever further into affordable classic territory has attracted more than a couple of imploring notes begging its owner to sell left under windscreen wipers whilst parked in Sainsburys’ car park.

Up until recently, Phyllis has resisted the begging notes, but as she’s got older and the roads busier, the number of miles being covered has reduced to such a level that she feels it’s time to let her beloved little Volkswagen head off to a new home in the hope that a new owner will get as much fun and as many more years of dependable motoring from the feisty little car as did the original keeper.

And so, at the tender age of 97 – Phyllis has decided that she’s finally ready to hang up her keys and is looking forward to being ferried around by her family from now on.

And it’s very much Phyllis’ decision to stop driving for as far as she, her family, her doctor and the DVLA are concerned she’s still a safe and competent proposition on the roads.

“I’m glad I’m making the decision and it’s not someone else telling me to stop” she says.

An admirable and brave step taken by a remarkable lady and I personally feel she’s earned the right not to have to continue battling with traffic and road conditions which are a world away from those she’d encountered when she passed her test in that Jowett van all those years ago; especially as her little classic is unencumbered with even such basic driver aids as servo’d brakes and steering, let alone the multiple airbags and crumple zones fitted as standard on today’s small hatches.

A testament to the strong character of the lady who has looked after her little People’s Car all these years, and which arguably has done very much the same for her.

Dave Wakefield

Please do send any genuine enquiries to us and we’ll pass them on…

The post VW Polo – One Lady Owner for 36 years first appeared on UKMotorTalk.

This was Niki Lauda – a man who by rights could arguably lay claim to the title ‘Survivor’ & usually of late to be seen offering pithy professional insight to any number of TV stations on GP weekends or perhaps gazing intently at the Mercedes team’s timing screens where in addition to his role as a non-executive director he held a 10% stake in the business.

Ever the shrewd player both on track and off, Lauda managed to succeed in his chosen profession(s) perhaps despite rather than because of circumstance – his wealthy family practically disowning him as he embarked on a motor racing career, resulting in him having to fund his early forays into the sport through bank loans and incurring personal debts which were only cleared when Enzo Ferrari – recognising Lauda’s natural and unmistakable flair – signed him from the ailing BRM team in 1974.

It was at the wheel of one of Enzo’s creations two years later that Niki was to suffer the terrible injuries which would make him such a instantly-recognisable personality and a household name well beyond the world of Formula 1 motor racing.

At a race in which he was vehemently opposed to taking part, due to – as it transpired – well-founded concerns over safety, his Ferrari 312T2 speared off the infamous Nurburgring circuit and was rapidly enveloped in flames. Lauda was trapped in the wreckage and before he could be extracted suffered vicious burns to his head and face in addition to damaged lungs caused by the inhalation of toxic fumes generated by the conflagration.

Many expected this to be not just the end of Lauda’s career but also his life as he collapsed into a coma and was rushed to hospital from where he was not expected to return, but in what has come to be regarded as one of the most remarkable recoveries from catastrophic injury of its kind, he defied the odds and, heavily-bandaged, was back in the cockpit of what might well have been his coffin only six weeks previously to contest the Italian Grand Prix in Monza – taking a creditable fourth place in a race nobody expected him to be alive to see, let alone compete in.

Whilst he had been away recuperating and in particular undergoing surgery to rebuild his eyelids, Lauda’s rival and off-track friend, the laconic James Hunt had been making inroads into Niki’s championship lead and by the time the final race of the season at Suzuka in Japan rolled around, the Austrian’s lead over Englishman Hunt stood at a paltry three points and with all to play for it seemed that this quite astonishing season was set for a showstopping finale.

However, whilst there was a a certain degree of drama in how the final standings were decided, fate was in the hands of Hunt and his fightback from a late pitstop rather than in those of his Ferrari-driving rival, as Lauda was to retire – perhaps understandably – after two sodden, and to his mind – lethal – laps leaving the Briton to win by a single point in his Mclaren – a feat which is portrayed so evocatively in the culmination of Ron Howard’s stunning film Rush.

For his part, Lauda – whilst disappointed to have lost the championship – felt equally blessed to have been afforded the opportunity to even compete again and was to regroup, biding his time and ultimately winning his third and final world championship at the wheel of a Mclaren some nine years later, when, in 1984 he beat his highly-regarded team mate Alain Prost by an even slimmer margin than by which Hunt had bested him in 1975 – just half a point – to take the title in Portugal.

Lauda finally retired from Formula 1 the following year with 1985 being a frustrating and difficult season and one which saw the Austrian only completing 3 of the races he started – his final F1 race being the new-to-the-calendar Australian Grand Prix in Adelaide.

But whilst he’d finally walked away from the driver’s seat, Niki Lauda certainly wasn’t destined to put his feet up as he threw himself back into the running of his airline businesses as well as acting as a consultant and mentor to a number of F1 teams including Ferrari, the ill-fated Jaguar and most recently Mercedes where he was instrumental in bringing onboard the multi-title winning sensation Lewis Hamilton for the 2013 season.

He also acted as a consultant and colour commentator for a number of broadcasters – most noticeably Germany’s RTL – where he could be a controversial yet never dull voice of information and opinion..

Sadly prey to ill-health in his last couple of years, Niki Lauda passed away yesterday (May 20th 2019) at the age of 70 following kidney problems but even though we mourn the fact that he has left the stage at what these days is a relatively young age, I think we must still be remarkably grateful that he was able to continue treading its boards at all.

Coming back as he did so decisively and in more than a degree of pain – both mental and physical – from a disastrous accident, widely-expected to be fatal at worst and career-ending at best, took reserves of courage and determination that can’t fail to be admired by motorsports fans and the wider world alike and he will be deeply missed by us all.

Formula 1 and motor racing in general has lost a true legend, an icon and yes, a survivor.

Dave Wakefield

The epithet “legendary” is often overused, and commonly so in motor racing, but Niki Lauda truly deserved the title. A legend as a driver with 3 world championships to his name. A legend as a battler fighting injuries right til the bitter end. And a legend as a talent spotter developing the likes of Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg into world class drivers with 6 championships to their names.

Niki won his 3 titles despite the horrific injuries received in the German Grand Prix in 1976 when his car crashed into a bank trapping him inside a raging inferno for what seemed an eternity.

Rushed to hospital few thought he would survive his injuries, extensive 3rd degree burns and inhaling toxic smoke, the last rites were observed but he later observed “if the brain is still alive it will force the body to live on”.

Yet, within 40 days he was back racing, still bandaged and wearing a larger helmet to accommodate his facial burn dressings. He was the first to admit his injuries didn’t improve his looks!

Leading the 1976 championship in a points battle with James Hunt, he knew when to get out of the car when it was simply too dangerous to carry on and in torrential rain at Suzuka he pulled into the pits and quit the race, thereby gifting that year’s title to Hunt, and effectively ending his Ferrari career. Getting out of a leading car didn’t sit well with Enzo.

2 more titles followed, the last of them for McLaren, before Niki “retired” at last from racing, but he went on to gain a commercial pilot’s license before founding his own airline, Lauda air.

However, he never really left motor sport. Niki was not the hothead all go and no think as so many of his contemporaries were.

He was a thinker, an analyst, and a planner, and his experience was much in demand by Formula One teams which led him eventually to be instrumental in the resurgence of the Mercedes F1 team. He became Chairman with his friend Toto Woolf as MD, both taking a substantial shareholding. The team have so far garnered 5 driver and 5 constructor titles with surely more to come.

Ultimately those 1976 injuries were to take his life 43 years later. He had a double lung transplant only last year and both kidneys had already been replaced in recent years.

Since being hospitalised with flu and chest problems a few months ago, Niki never regained full health and passed away quietly on Monday at just 70 years old, a great loss to family and friends.

A legend lost… but never forgotten.

Graham Benge

The post Andreas Nikolaus “Niki” Lauda – Survivor first appeared on UKMotorTalk.

For the car geek, a trip overseas is always a treat and particularly, for those of us who live outside the USA at least, one which involves crossing the Atlantic.

Brought up, as we all were to a greater or lesser degree, on a diet of US-sourced visual entertainment, those of us of a certain age will recall having watched ludicrously-proportioned examples of some of Detroit’s finest metalwork wallowing around corners, tyres protesting noisily as they negotiated yet another right-angled junction at speed during an obligatory car chase.

Conducted as these chases usually were on the mean streets of LA/Detroit/NYC we became familiar with the scenery as the nondescript hunks of US-produced metal screeched around, ploughing through strategically-placed piles of cardboard boxes and street-side fruit stalls as the goodies chased (and inevitably caught) the baddies and all was once again right with the world.

“Don’t forget to tune in at the same time next Saturday..”

Well, obviously, time moves on and the streets of the US of A are a somewhat different environment these days, not to mention the fact that Hollywood’s depiction of the highways of America tends to be a somewhat more fanciful version of the rather more mundane reality..

In the real world at least, the inexorable rise of Far-Eastern and European imports since the sixties and seventies has had a huge impact on the domestic market and whilst the local boys do still churn out a vast number of cars and trucks for sale in the fifty states and beyond, the days of everyone having a Buick, Chevy or Ford on the drive are very much in the past.

Indeed, a significant number of the aforementioned Japanese, Korean and European-sourced vehicles on the roads of North America today were actually built on the American continent itself with manufacturers such as VW, BMW, Toyota and Honda – amongst others – having set up shop to produce their wares locally, thus saving import costs and avoiding onerous tariffs on vehicles popular in the North American market.

Anyway this Spring half term we found ourselves winging our way across The Pond for a week away in the home of the Mustang, the Charger, the Ram and er, the Passat with a genuine sense of excitement, trepidation and more than a little curiosity.

Never having been to the ‘States before (although we’d gazed upon New York State across an INCREDIBLY cold and frozen Niagara Falls from Canada a few years previously) it was set to become a major assault on the senses as we took in the sights, sound and smells of one of the USA’s most vibrant and cosmopolitan cities, San Francisco.

Now, when one thinks of the City By The Bay, and, in particular, transport thereabouts the first image that usually springs to mind – after that of a green Ford Mustang piloted by Steve McQueen – is of the iconic cable cars which trundle up and down the vertiginous streets of the city – and which, if you’re excitable Film Director Michael Bay, have a tendency to launch themselves vertically in a ball of flame the minute a car comes close to one; see his 1996 all action thriller ‘The Rock’ if you don’t know what I’m referring to (although to be honest, if you’ve seen one Michael Bay explosion, you’ve pretty much seen them all..).

However, whilst the cable cars are unique, utterly wonderful to look at and ride upon, they, like the generally excellent public transport network in the city still play second fiddle to the ubiquitous automobile. Even in what is now an increasingly ecologically-aware and forward-thinking city, it seems that the majority of its citizens still prefer the convenience of their own wheels, or those of the innumerable Uber & Lyft ride-share cabs which are seemingly everywhere in San Francisco and whilst there are – perhaps predictably – a significant number of hybrid and full-electric vehicles plying the steeply-raked roads of San Francisco, the vast majority of privately-owned cars are running on what is still, to our European-conditioned wallets at least, remarkably cheap petrol/gasoline – delete as applicable depending on your current position relative to the Atlantic.

And perhaps most conspicuous by its absence was a staple part of the automotive backbeat typical of the European city – the sound of the Diesel engine.

Whilst most commercial vehicles were running on Heavy Oil, apart from a couple of oddities (of which more below) I don’t think I spotted one car running on the stuff – undoubtedly the vastly cheaper cost of petrol out there renders the economic benefits of Diesel pretty much irrelevant with – I strongly suspect – any in-roads which might have been made of late by DERV-powered vehicles being swiftly halted following the unfortunate VW-instigated ‘Dieselgate’ unpleasantness..

That being said, Volkswagen don’t appear to have suffered too much, sales-wise – judging by the sheer numbers of current model Golfs, Jettas and Passats on the roads.

Of course, San Francisco does have a bit of a reputation for being more European-leaning than some other cities on the west coast which could also explain the presence of large numbers of sister-brand Audi’s products along with a healthy number of BMWs (including numerous variants of the Mini) and Fiat’s ever-popular 500- the domestic version of which is produced just over the border in Mexico, along with the Federal-spec VW Passat.

But the home teams also enjoy the low cost of manufacturing over the border too with examples of some of the best-selling US-automotive brands’ output being made by the very people Donald Trump is currently doing his damnedest to shut out with his infamous bit of fencing; with both Ford and GM producing large numbers of cars like the Fusion (or Mondeo as it’s known this side of the Pond) and Ram pickup south of the border for domestic consumption.

And talking of the Ram – one thing which brought a wry smile to my face was seeing this badge plastered not only across the vast hoods of multi-cylindered, go-anywhere, chainsaw-wielding lumberjack-piloted pickups with enough chrome to keep a 1950s diner-fetishist happy for decades, but also adorning the flanks of thinly badge-engineered Fiat Doblo and Ducato panel vans.

Personally, I can’t help but think that Fiat-Chrysler are being a tad optimistic here and maybe even diluting the macho image that the name RAM usually conjures up but then what do I know..?

Made me chuckle anyway..

Other little oddities which really got my car nerdi-senses tingling included spotting the subtle – and not so subtle differences in spec between cars we’re familiar with in the UK and the version which is sold in North America.

Car-anoraks such as myself who are borderline clinical detail obsessives will already be familiar with the fact that the USA and, for ease of harmonisation between neighbo(u)rs – Canada – requires vehicles sold there to adhere to a different set of regulations to those in force pretty much everywhere else in the world.

Known colloquially as the ‘Federal Regs’, these set out safety standards, lighting requirements and so on to which all vehicles sold in North America must adhere if they are to be allowed on the roads.

The most noticeable differences generally are to be found in the areas of crash protection and lighting and when put side by side the changes made to vehicles to satisfy the National Highway Safety Transport Administration’s (NHSTA) requirements can be quite marked.

For example, North American market cars’ bumpers are required to absorb a heavier impact than those sold elsewhere and consequently the items fitted to US market cars have tended – in the past at least – to be quite a bit more hefty.

Classic car enthusiasts will no doubt recall the rubber-bumpers tacked onto the higher-riding MGB of the late 70s – just one of many victims of the NHSTA’s stringent crash regs..

And, as mentioned above, lighting is another area in which Americans-spec cars differ significantly from their ‘Rest of The World’ (RoW) brethren – the most notable difference being that unlike here in the UK and pretty much anywhere else in the world, US-market cars can be sold with either amber or red rear indicators – or to use the vernacular, turn signals – causing not a little bit of nerdy excitement amongst European carspottery types the first time they see an Audi or BMW with what looks like a flashing brakelight.

And it doesn’t end there – all American-specification cars must also be equipped with side marker lights on the front and rear flanks of the vehicle – red at the rear and amber at the front. This has lead manufacturers by necessity to come up with a number of methods of incorporating them into their designs, ranging from offering a completely restyled light assembly, using the same basic assembly worldwide but blanking off the extra bits outside the US or simply bolting extra lights and reflectors onto the sides of vehicles destined to end up on the streets of the USA.

It’s in the latter case that some manufacturers have been more creative than others with European marques such as Fiat, Mini & Lotus opting to incorporate the light-reflector units into the curve of the wheel arch with others, including certain models of Ferrari, Bentley and Audi having them fixed rather less-subtly onto bodywork or bumpers.

These differences in specification – along with a number of others – can make importing a North American specification vehicle into the UK such a minefield and are the reason that a number of small specialist companies are making a good living converting the lights of personal-import Mustangs, Camaros, Chargers & the like to pass the MOT..

And as you might be able to imagine, if you want to import cars into the United States things are even trickier – in fact if the car’s under 25 years old and wasn’t ever originally sold in the US then you might as well forget it as the hoops that the Department of Transport will have you jumping through will probably send you mad before bankrupting you into the bargain.

However, if you are US-based with a burning desire to own something different in a land of identical Camrys or F150s & are prepared to bide your time then some more interesting metal is now starting to become available to you.

Some of our lucky former colonial cousins are now beginning to experience the delights of whizzing around the countryside at the wheel of some of the best handling machinery of the 90s, with examples of Peugeot’s exquisite 205 GTi and Lancia’s all-conquering semi-exotic rally weapon the Integrale Evo starting to pop up over there alongside some interesting Japanese imports popular on the burgeoning ‘JDM’ scene.

Particularly popular among importers both private and commercial are Land Rover Defenders in both 90 & 110 guise. Long denied to North Americans due to the more stringent crashworthiness rules in force there these iconic staples of the British motoring landscape are making their way westward in ever-increasing numbers as examples start to pass their 25th birthday.

We spotted two right hand drive ex-military examples pounding the streets of San Fran in the week we were out there & it was the oh-so-familiar LR diesel clatter which drew my attention to at least one of them long before the olive drab ex-pat 90 bounced somewhat incongruously into view along the Marina..

So then, in conclusion a real eye-opener in so many ways – America for the first time visitor is that strange mix of oddly-familiar yet in some areas utterly alien and so it follows where matters automotive are concerned.

Most noticeably, bigger, wider roads and easy access to cheaper fuel and car finance mean that the cars are still bigger and on the whole, less economical than we’re used to here in Europe and especially so here on our comparatively crowded little island.

The grid system means that roundabouts (traffic circles) – in cities at least – are pretty much unheard of in the States and navigating by blocks soon becomes second nature for the visitor whether as a driver or a pedestrian.

It doesn’t take long to acclimatise to looking the other way when crossing streets – something else which becomes second nature to the Brit abroad who’s more used to looking right than left – and we sussed the pedestrian priority crosswalks equally quickly – although we probably marked ourselves out as being British by being the only people who waved our thanks to drivers that stopped to let us cross..

We didn’t hire a car for the week we were there as we stayed pretty much exclusively in the city, so only got to experience the road network from the perspective of public transport and airport transfer cabs.

San Francisco is a busy, bustling city whose unique steeply-inclined streets undoubtedly make driving more.. interesting.. and one we are keen to revisit to see some of the many sights we weren’t able to fit in during our regrettably short stay.

Next time we’ll definitely get ourselves a car and head off over the majestic & truly stunning Golden Gate Bridge to explore the natural beauty of Sausalito, the Marin Headlands and Muir Woods. Here, we’re reliably-informed, there are some fantastic drivers’ roads waiting to be enjoyed, whilst heading out of the city in the opposite direction the vistas offered by the Pacific Coast Highway which runs southwards to Monterey and beyond to LA are a temptation surely not to be readily passed up.

Best start saving up again then..

Dave Wakefield

The post America: Oddly similar, similarly odd first appeared on UKMotorTalk.

Now, the reason I had originally opted to visit said larger outlet was the belief that they’d be more-likely to have a matching tyre in stock to replace the Hankook item I’d seemingly-lunched earlier that morning.

However, as it turned out (again, see part 1 – ed) they weren’t in the mood to supply anything short of a dismissive shrug, so it was with a degree less optimism that I turned into the somewhat less palatial premises of the nearby independent..

Tucked into a small yard adjacent to the local railway station, the facilities consist of traditional elongated sheds with a couple of fitting bays – a far more low-key outfit than the opposition but one in which I was to put my faith as I emerged into the still monsoon-like downpour and made a bee-line for the warm glow emanating from the office.

Once under cover, I was buoyed by the friendly nature of the welcome which was markedly-different to that I’d just experienced at tyre retailer no 1. As per my previous encounter, the chap manning the desk was also on the phone, fielding what sounded like a call from someone in a similar situation to myself, but that was where the two experiences began to differ and from my point of view, very much for the better.

You see, as I walked into the office, glasses steamed up from the warmth emanating from the welcome fan heater on the floor, my soon to be new best friend on the phone cupped his hand over the mouthpiece, smiled at me and told me he wouldn’t be long on the call.

Now that, as they say is how you do that.

True to his word, he finished the call and I was in business. Explaining the situation and relating my recent less than ideal encounter with the big boys down the road to a rolling of eyes and knowing grin from my oppo, I asked whether he might be able to help me out with a replacement Hankook.

Without even a glance at his old-skool (is that what the kids call it?) CRT box on the desk he told me that not only did he have one on the shelf, if I could hang on 20 minutes whilst the Transit currently occupying one of the bays was sorted out he’d be able to get it fitted & have me on my way ASAP.

So, handing over the keys and the alloy locknut remover, I settled in by the fan heater, demisted my glasses and set about the stack of well-thumbed copies of Auto Express pending the re-shoeing of my wounded steed..

As I idly scanned an article on the forthcoming Tesla 3, I looked up to see that my car was now up on the ramp with the wheel off and a couple of minutes later my presence was requested the other side of the glass.

With more than a degree of trepidation, I put aside Auto Express and with it thoughts of joining the brave new world of zero-emission motoring as I mentally prepared myself for the impending bad news of knackered lower arms or a squared-off alloy but no, for once the news was all good.

They’d had a good look at the wheel and remarkably it was still straight and true and even more remarkably, the tyre itself – despite absorbing the impact through its less than generous sidewall – was still intact, the only thing being broken being the seal with the alloy rim.

And that wasn’t all – Skoda, it seems build things to last as they could see no deformation of the suspension nor any damage to either spring or shock-absorber.

They did advise that it might be sensible to get the tracking looked at at some point – something I was intending to do anyway – but other than that I had, seemingly, dodged a bit of a bullet.

Even so, I opted to have the tyre replaced as despite being legal the wear markers on the original item were getting ever more close to being level with the the tread and, well, better safe than sorry, eh?

A short while later, back in the office as I watched the last of the bolts being tightened back onto the freshly-clad (and still circular, thank heavens) alloy, my chum behind the desk asked me if it was a pothole that I’d hit.

Replying in the affirmative with a rueful smile I related the fact that I had only informed the county council of its presence less than 24 hours previously and judging from the number of graphical “!” symbols on the online reporting map it seemed that I wasn’t the only one.

Tilting his head a little, he shot me an inquisitive glance:

“It wasn’t down The Drive by any chance..?”

“Spot on.” says I.

“Ah..figures – you’re the fifth we’ve had in – you should submit a claim, the others have”.

As I headed for the door, having said thanks and goodbye, I glanced again at the total at the foot of the invoice, turned back and said:

“You know what, I think I might just do that..”

And with that, I headed back out into the still biblically-damp elements and headed off to London, studiously avoiding The Drive and its lurking hazards and making a mental note to log onto the county council’s online claim system once I’d made it to work..

To be continued…

Dave Wakefield

The post Tyred & Emotional – Part 2 – “The Reckoning” first appeared on UKMotorTalk.

With temperatures regularly reaching negative double figures and snow and ice bringing the usual chaos to the nation’s daily grind, the ‘Beast(s) from the East’ – as the weather systems responsible were dubbed for headline-grabbing purposes – certainly made an impact as they plunged the nation into what felt at times like an unannounced Ice Age du nos jours..

So, you might be forgiven for feeling that now the snow has melted and icicles no longer cling to the underside of your bumper in the style of a frigid walrus ‘tache that you might be permitted to relax, safe in the knowledge that you’d braved the Siberian conditions whilst keeping your automotive pride and joy intact.

Well, not so fast Speedy Gonzales, for of course, after the freeze comes the thaw, and if you were paying attention at school during double Geography all those years ago rather than idly attempting to outdo Pininfarina with fanciful sketches of the next Ferrari Testarossa you’ll recall the principles of ‘freeze-thaw’ or ‘frost-weathering’ and the sort of damage it can do to solid rock.

And, if a bit of water coupled with sub-zero temperatures can fracture huge great lumps of granite in the mountains of Wales then it follows that the hastily-laid and many-times-patched sections of asphalt currently passing for road surfaces in the UK these days don’t stand a chance..

Yes – once again, it’s pothole season!

A time for Kwik-Fit shareholders and board members of alloy wheel manufacturers to rub their hands in glee whilst County Council insurance departments up and down the country brace themselves for a tidal wave of claim forms.

And guess who’s large diameter, liquorice-wrapped alloy wheel recently encountered a prime example of such a carriageway crater?

Yep..

I wouldn’t have minded (alright, actually I would – very much) but I’d only reported this particular bomb hole less than 24 hours previously using Surrey County Council’s online system where – I discovered – I was far from the first to do so.

In my defence, it was dark and wet when I dropped my wheel into the hole in question and it was disguised by being full to the brim with water but that didn’t lessen the sheer frustration and physical shock that accompanied the filling-loosening crash.

Pulling over further down the lane I emerged into the Stygian gloom and relentless downpour to study the offending appendage by the light of a torch and I was encouraged to see from a cursory glance that the rim didn’t appear to be bent. However, the tyre had certainly lost a bit of air so with great care I turned the car around and set off the 500 metres or so back home at a slow and watchful pace, trying to remain positive about the fact that I had only a short distance in which to nurse the car back to the driveway.

A couple of hours later and I’d got the temporary spare on, having removed the alloy which by now was clad in a completely-deflated tyre. Taking a closer look at the rim in the daylight it seemed that fortunately my initial inspection at the side of the road had proven accurate as there didn’t seem to be any obvious damage – which was a relief given how easy it is to bend wide, large diameter alloy wheels with their attendant offset. And so, having checked the opening times of the nearby big-name tyre and exhaust place I rocked up as they opened the doors, optimistically (as it turned out) looking forward to getting a replacement tyre fitted and somewhat belatedly getting on my way to work.

And so I stood, waiting for the chap sitting behind his computer terminal to finish his call whilst his four tyre fitter colleagues lounged around behind him, all studiously avoiding making eye contact with me lest they acknowledge my existence until finally the phone call ended and I evidently became visible to the assembled throng – the conversation unfolding thus:

Man behind counter: Yes, can I help? (this being uttered in the sort of tone that seemed to indicate that he dearly wished he couldn’t)

Me: I hope so, yes, is there any chance you could fit a tyre for me quickly if I wait, please?

Man behind counter: Sorry, the earliest I can do is next Tuesday. (today is Wednesday)

Me: (looking around at the 4 empty fitting bays, the 4 tea-drinking tyre fitters and the 4 empty job sheets on the desk as well as the empty waiting room)

Really?

Man behind counter: Yeah, it’s the Easter weekend – we’re fully-booked out I’m afraid.

Me: (looking around once more at the 4 empty fitting bays, the 4 tea-drinking tyre fitters and the 4 empty job sheets on the desk as well as the still very empty waiting room)

Oh, ok..

Man behind counter: You could try (name of local, independent tyre company) down the road – they might be able to help.

Me: OK..thanks, I guess I’ll have to. Bye then..

And with this, I exited the empty waiting room, walked past the empty fitting bays and drove off in the direction of the independent tyre company down the road suggested by my oh so helpful chum..

To be continued.. See Part Two

Dave Wakefield

The post Tyred & Emotional – Part 1 first appeared on UKMotorTalk.

The post A Soggy Start.. first appeared on UKMotorTalk.

From giving the Soviet Union more than a bloodied nose at the outset of World War Two to being the home of what was – until the dominance of Apple and Samsung – the most successful mobile phone manufacturer ever, this small Nordic country has exerted an influence on the world which is somewhat at odds with her physical proportions.

Some say that this is due to the harsh winters experienced up there resulting in the population being imbued with a grit, determination and resourcefulness required to survive in such inclement and challenging conditions. Others say that it’s because they’re fuelled by industrial strength Vodka and indeed there is certainly convincing evidence to support both theories..

But Finland’s relation to fuel of a different variety – the distillates used to power racing cars rather than the hardy souls who reside there – has played its own part in another area in which Finland has exerted such a seemingly disproportionate influence, namely that of motor sport.

Indeed, if asked to name a rally or Formula One driver of the last few decades who has partied hard yet driven even harder I can pretty much guarantee that at least 2 or 3 of the names proferred will be Finnish.

Stagger forward then Kimi Räikkönen and form an orderly line – in no particular order – alongside Mika Häkkinen, Mika Salo, Juha Kankkunen, Hannu Mikkola, JJ Lehto, Keke Rosberg…

All exemplars in their field and all brought up to learn to drive in the unforgiving Winter conditions of Finland. If you can drive there, then you can probably drive anywhere and indeed, whether it’s on the gravel and ice-strewn special stages of the rally circus or the glittering circuits of the Formula One world the Moniker of ‘Flying Finn’  is an oft-used and generally well-deserved one.

This season in Formula One there are two Finns vying not just for the coveted World Championship Driver crown, but also for the unofficial right to call themselves the current “Flying Finn” and it’s arguably an extremely-talented 27 year old who’s keeping his illustrious team mate honest  at the pointy end of the grid who can lay claim to this cherished title.

For it is Valtteri Bottas sitting in 3rd position in the 2017 Driver’s Championship in the Mercedes W08  – a full 2 places and 38 points ahead of his countryman, the Ferrari-driving vodka-enthusiast Kimi Räikkönen – who is doing the business this year.

After having been poached from Williams in the off-season to replace the retiring World Champ (and Finn(ish) himself) Nico Rosberg, Valtteri has been putting in some stunning performances this year already and is in with of shout of the Driver’s Title in his debut year with Mercedes – a prospect that must be giving Lewis Hamilton some sleepless nights..

Graham caught up with Valtteri as he got ready to take a previous example of his company car up to the top of the Hill..

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The post Another Flying Finn hits the Hill – Valtteri Bottas first appeared on UKMotorTalk.

Richard & James’ approach was to string together a collection of caravans (what else?) as a bijou set of carriages towed behind an ageing Audi S8 ‘loco’ shod with rail wheels.

Jeremy on the other hand – and somewhat predictably – set off down the high-speed route by hitching a cutdown caravan body to a V12-engined Jaaaag XJS and treating Rail Express’ Editor Murray Brown to a rail journey he’s probably unlikely to forget in a hurry in the somewhat-optimistically named TGV12, the poor sod..

Anyway, we’re based not a million miles away from the Top Gear track & occasionally we’ll spot cars from the show being filmed around the locale or the production crew enjoying lunch in one of the awfully pleasant local boozers near Dunsfold, Surrey; and this morning, as we blearily trundled through the village of Compton on the way to the A3, we found ourselves behind a low-loader sporting a rather familiar red XJS convertible & a somewhat-modified & equally red caravan..

With a big spoiler on the back..

Whilst we’ll never make the ranks of Hans Lehmann & his prototype-bagging cohorts we did manage to grab this snap as the latest addition to the TG range of glorious failures headed off to parts unknown, although judging from the direction it was heading it could be on its way to the Top Gear exhibition at Beaulieu, so keep your eyes peeled if you’re planning a visit to the excellent National Motor Museum during the Summer holidays.

If you’re in the UK (or can spoof IP addresses), you can still catch the latest edition of Top Gear on the BBC’s iPlayer until the weekend, but be warned, it’ll probably put you off rail travel for the foreseeable future..

Dave Wakefield

The post Notwork Rail. first appeared on UKMotorTalk.